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September 12, 2021 | Doug Sauder
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“So much to do, so little time.” It’s something we’ve all likely thought or said at one time or another. It would be an understatement to say that life is hectic. Our schedules are full, our time is limited, and our margin seems practically nonexistent.
As a Christ-follower, husband, father of two, and a working professional, I can never seem to find enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do. As a disciple, I want to spend all day and night studying the Word, praying, diving into commentaries and books, journaling, and reflecting on everything God is showing me. As husband and father, I want to spend all day with my family, playing with my kids, going on adventures, and making memories that will last a lifetime.
But I don’t have the freedom to do whatever I want with 100% of my time. As a working professional, one-third of my time is spent at work. And in order to function properly throughout any given day, another one-third of my time is spent sleeping. That only leaves me with a third of the day to spend with God and my family, not counting commuting and all the other little time-drainers that make up each and every day. On top of that, in order to stay in good physical shape—while still being able to enjoy a constant barrage of burgers, pizza, and tacos—I go to the gym several times a week.
So, when you add that all up, sadly it doesn’t leave nearly as much time for the things that truly matter: God and family. Do you ever feel this way? If so, you’re definitely not alone. Today, I want to share a little trick that may help you experience more quality time with your spouse: shared hobbies and activities.
So often, when it comes to quality time with our spouse, the chosen activities tend to be enjoyed by one more than the other. For example, my wife wants to go to the zoo. I don’t enjoy the zoo at all. The entire concept of zoos is lost on me, but she really wants to go, so we take the hour-long drive down to Miami and spend half a day looking at animals—mainly watching them sleep. Or I want to do an all-day Friends marathon. She doesn’t really care for the 90s sitcom, but she endures. In both scenarios, we are spending time together, but the overall experience isn’t the same for both. This seems like a missed opportunity at true memory making.
Instead, I suggest you find things you both love to do. For instance, my wife and I have found a common love of comic book movies, so whenever a new one is released, we make a dinner and movie date out of it. We also both love food, so we spend a lot of time cooking together and going out to eat. Another thing we do together is watch baseball—yes, we both like baseball . . . it’s not just me!
Over the years, we’ve tried different hobbies that just haven’t stuck for some reason or another. We’ve scrapbooked together, read books together, made art together . . . and while all of them were fun for a time, one—or both—of us eventually lost interest and enjoyment with these activities. This is not a bad thing. It’s good to test the waters and try different things.
Find what works for you, find what sticks, and stick with it until it doesn’t . . . and then find something else! Make the time you spend together something that both of you fully enjoy.
I hope this little tip will help you experience a deeper, healthier, more rewarding marriage as you share the things you love together.
Danny Saavedra has served on the staff of Calvary since 2012, managing the Calvary Devotional and digital discipleship resources. He has a Master of Arts in Pastoral Counseling and Master of Divinity in Pastoral Ministry from Liberty Theological Seminary. His wife Stephanie, son Jude, and daughter Zoe share a love of Star Wars, good food, having friends over for dinner, and studying the Word together as a family.