When You Dread Mother’s Day

I know what it’s like to want to be a mom so bad that my heart physically hurt.

I know what it’s like to lose a mom because she died way too young.

I know what it’s like to have children who no longer express their love for me, call me mom, or even speak to me.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way . . .

When I was a kid, I often dreamt about being a mom. I would sit in school fantasizing about how many kids I’d have, whether they’d be boys or girls or a mix, what they’d look like, what their personalities would be, and all of the things we’d do together. Never once in these dreams did I ever imagine I’d become a brokenhearted mom.

And I know I’m not alone. There are so many people—not just women—who’ve experienced such hardships that it makes them dread Mother’s Day. These are the people I want to speak to today.

For all the women who want to be a mother but haven’t been able to conceive . . . Trust God’s timing. When I walked through this trial, the Book of Job spoke to me. After all the trials Job went through, Job told the Lord he knew He could do all things (Job 42:1-2) . . . and He can! In the end, God abundantly blessed Job (in His perfect timing). Ask God to help you wait patiently as He prepares you for the season of motherhood (if that’s His will for you). If you know you physically can’t conceive a child, ask the Lord if He has plans for you to adopt one.

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born . . .”—Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a (NKJV)

For all the moms who’ve had to bury their children . . . God also lost a child, His only Son, when Jesus was crucified. He understands your pain and suffering and wants to comfort you (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). As you draw near to God, He promises to draw near to you (James 4:8). Allow your grief to drive you closer to God. He will comfort you.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”—Matthew 5:4 (ESV)

For all the people who’ve had to bury their mothers . . . Celebrate your mom by remembering all of the good times you had together. Give thanks to God for the mother who loved and raised you. Share some fond memories you have of her with your family and friends. The Lord tells us to honor our father and mother. We can still do that after they die by honoring their memories and celebrating their lives!

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”—Exodus 20:12 (NKJV)

For all the moms who believe they’ve failed at being a mom . . . If there’s a specific sin involved, ask God to forgive you (spoiler alert) and He will (1 John 1:9). And then lose the guilt. God does not condemn us (Roman 8:1). Then, if necessary (and if you haven’t already), ask your child(ren) to forgive you. If he or she won’t, that is between them and God. Trust that God will reveal truth to them in His timing. In the meantime, rest in His forgiveness and enjoy the life that Jesus died to give you.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”—John 10:10 (NKJV)

For all the people who’ve had mothers who’ve hurt or abandoned them . . . If your mom is still alive, forgive her (Luke 11:4; Romans 3:23). God is in the business of reconciliation. Ask Him to help you restore your relationship with your mom. If it’s not safe for you to have a relationship with your mom, or if she abandoned you, then celebrate the women in your life who’ve been a godly example to you.

“Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”—Colossians 3:13-14 (NKJV)

For all the moms who have an estranged child . . . One day as I was crying out to the Lord over my situation, telling him how my heart was so broken over my estranged children that I didn’t think I could live, He loving said to me, “I know how you feel. I have millions.“ Wow . . . That still gets me every time I think of it. God has millions of prodigal children and it breaks His heart.

But let me encourage you with this. Even though your child has wandered off, you are still, and always will be, your child’s mom! Pray that he or she will find the Lord. If you taught them about Jesus, then take comfort in knowing that they will return to Him (Proverbs 22:6). You may not know when this will happen—it could be when you are on this side of Heaven or not—but have faith in God’s Word that it will happen; one day your child will return to God and to you.

“Thus says the Lord: ‘Refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.”—Jeremiah 31:16 (NKJV)

I’m sure there are more scenarios that could be added to the ones I’ve listed above. Whether or not your particular situation has been described, I pray that the Lord has been able to speak to your heart through the words I’ve shared, and that you’ll be able to move from a place of despair to hope and turn Mother’s Day into a day that you can truly celebrate.