Finding Your Spouse

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”—Proverbs 19:14 (NIV)

Have you ever watched Aladdin? It’s one of my absolute favorite Disney animated films. One of my favorite moments in the movie is when Aladdin first sees Jasmine in the market. His reaction? It was love at first sight. He just knew she was “the one.”

Unfortunately, for most people it isn’t as easy or instantaneous as it was for Aladdin. For many, a lot of toil goes into answering the question “Is this person the one?” Many spend years wondering if there is some magic formula or secret to know when they’ve found the one. How do you know? 

I think Proverbs 19:14 gives us some insight into this matter: “A prudent wife is from the Lord.” The Hebrew word for prudent is sakal. Some of the words given to describe its full meaning are attentive, understanding, considerate, desirable, clever, and wise. But the most prominent definition is the word perfect. So, if we substitute the word, what we see here is “A perfect wife is from the Lord.” 

One Bible commentary states, “She is a special gift of God, a proof of His gracious care for his servants.” You see, the Lord knows you best. He knows your heart and soul, and He knows who is perfect for you. He inclines the heart of one to another. The implication in the text is that a person can’t find such a spouse through the care and provision of a parent; nor through his or her own good choice. Our soul’s mate, our perfect mate, is given by providence of God.

Consider James 1:17 (NASB): “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights . . .” So, how do you find that perfect person the Lord has for you? How do you know if the person you’re with is that person? Ask the Lord! Seek His heart, seek His will, search His Word, spend time in prayer. 

The dating season is all about getting to know the person so you can discern whether or not your potential future spouse is the one the Lord has for you. It’s all about finding out if he or she is the one. For some, it may be love at first sight, and you just know because the Lord has revealed it to you in your heart. I knew within the first two weeks. But for others, the answer takes time. Regardless of how long it takes, just be sure to seek the Lord throughout.  

DIG: If you’re married, how did you determine that your spouse was “the one?” If you’re single, what are your current parameters for determining the answer to this question?

DISCOVER: What does the Bible say about soul mates—a perfect person for everyone?

DO: If you’re married, reflect on the moment you realized your spouse was “the one.” If you’re single, spend time praying and asking the Lord to bring that perfect person into your life in His time and to give you peace about it until then.