How Important is Attraction?

It was a moment I’ll never forget. It was as if time stood still, and everything around me was suspended in the magic of this one euphoric moment. As we were introduced, and my eyes looked deep into hers, my heart jumped out of my chest, never to return. Somewhere in heaven a choir began to sing, Jesus smiled, and angels applauded. The sun began to shine, birds began to chirp, and flowers began to bloom. Love was in the air, and I began to breathe . . . It was the day I met my wife.
But what really happened? Was it just my imagination running away with me?
Did something cause that joyous moment? Were the holy hands of God guiding me that day to meet the person who I’d discover to be my true soulmate? These questions have answers, but not all of them will be found on this side of eternity. Yet here’s what I do know: I felt a powerful force deep within me, drawing me to this woman who would become my wife. Thirty years later I look back and it all began with this magical sense of attraction.
Attraction. We see, we feel, we want. Most of us at some point in our lives have encountered this powerful surge of attraction. It can feel as though we are being magnetically drawn to an object of our heart’s desire. What makes us want, desire, crave? Truly, there is some force within us that seems to ignite when we encounter someone or something we want. We feel the allure to that which captures our senses, and our heart tells our mind, “I want this!”
So what is this drive in us all about? Is it supposed to be like this? Did God intend for us to have an internal pull toward that which may or may not be good for us?
As we peer closer into this topic of attraction, we will inevitably find ourselves going back to the very beginning. The true beginning of everything. In the creation story of Genesis, we discover the Master’s plan was to create us in His image. And breathing life into the lungs of man, God placed spirit and soul into a body of flesh. This man, created in our sovereign God’s image, now held the ability to choose, to think logically and rationally, to desire, and to admire beauty. God intentionally poured into man the ability to be attracted. Divinely created, Adam wasted no time putting these God-given abilities to use as he gazed at his beautiful helpmate, Eve. His attraction drew him to Eve. He desired her, appreciated her beauty, and chose her over all else.
In Genesis 2:23-25 (NIV) we read: “The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
Not much has changed over the course of human history. Men still see, want, desire, and pursue that which they are attracted to. So how do we ensure we’re attracted to a person with whom God is pleased? This is especially important when it comes to finding a spouse who will become our partner and best friend for life. Therefore, God’s Word must be our guide—a light to our feet and a lamp to our path.
When it comes to our feelings of attraction, I believe it would be wise for us to ask and answer the following three questions:
Is our attraction only external?
Let’s get personal now. We know that most people are attracted to attractive people. But what really makes a person attractive, and what are we really attracted to in someone else? The world points us to the external, neglecting to look deeper at the heart and soul. This is why we must ask ourselves, “Is it just good looks and sex appeal that is capturing my attention, or is it more than external beauty?”
As we explore the Scriptures, our eyes open to the reality that beauty and attractiveness go beyond the clothes we wear, our hair styles, and our physique. In 1 Peter 3:4, we’re reminded that the inner quality or the “hidden person of the heart” is to be as equally attractive as the outward appearance. It’s simply a call to character and godly conduct. We’re commanded to live life in such a way as to attract others, not just to ourselves, but to the One who created us in His image. And as His image-bearers, we should have beautiful hearts that are reflected and lived out in our behavior.
Is our attraction causing us to compromise?
If we are not careful, our attraction can lead to situations where we compromise things we know to be right and true. The power of attraction often refuses to respond to logic and reason, and we can ultimately suffer the consequences of our poor choices. How then can we harness this powerful drive within and ensure our attraction takes us in a God-honoring direction? If we’re wise, we’ll look to God’s Word.
Is our attraction pleasing to God?
Simply put, is Jesus smiling about where our attraction is taking us? He wants us to be blessed beyond our wildest imaginations. That’s why He willingly gave up heaven and laid down His life for us. His desire is for us to be attracted to what will bless us and not harm us. As we embrace this thought, we need to lay our hopes, dreams, desires, and attractions at the feet of Him who cares most about us.
If you’re feeling the powerful pull of attraction, give yourself time to honestly answer these three questions. It will be time well spent before you find yourself any further down the road of desire. Check your heart and offer it up to God’s loving leadership. Let Him guide you as you examine your desires. Ultimately, I pray you’re most attracted to the One who is forever attracted to you! His name is Jesus.