December 4, 2022 | Doug Sauder
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How to Weather Storms in Your Marriage
How do you make it through the hard times in your marriage?
If you live in Florida, you are way too familiar with hurricane preparedness, which requires stocking up on essentials, preparing your home, and tuning into weather center alerts. But what about our marriages? Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “If you aren’t in a storm or coming out of one, be prepared, it’s coming!” So, let’s take a minute to talk about the different weather patterns we’ll face in our marriages.
The calm before the storm
These are the good times where we store up and treasure the great things about one another and our marriages. Praying with one another, talking and laughing with one another . . . the long walks, beach days, and triumphant moments—I like to call these the “sunny side up” days. Reuben and I have a book of remembrance in our home and we love to write down how God showed up in huge ways or answered our prayers. Having a verse that you and your spouse have coined as your family verse or even a verse that you focus on for a whole year is such a great way to store up for possible stormy weather in the future. Because, let’s be real, we can’t always live in the sunshine. I’ve heard it said, “If you want a land of pure sunshine and nothing else, you will end up living in a desert.”
When the storm hits
Don’t let your emotions hit the panic button because your flesh wants a way out. Maintain order—watch your words and actions. Have you noticed when we face tragedy, our disposition shifts into alarm mode and we can lose control and rational thinking? We find ourselves wondering, Did I really say that? Be aware that what comes out of you can cause the storm to rage even harder. Remain calm, quiet, and collected.
Tether yourself to the promises of God found in His Word. Find the safest room in your house. During times of trouble, go to that quiet space where you can cry out to God. He has never been overwhelmed by storms and always has the power to bring quiet and rest.
Focus and Stay Fixed
We have to listen to our guide, the Holy Spirit, and fix our eyes on Jesus who is our helper, rescuer, and redeemer. If we lose sight of what we know and the One who promises to get us through, we begin to take matters into our own hands. We also begin to get tired and restless.
When You Waiver and Get Discouraged
Remember the days in your marriage when there was laughter and all the good times that you stored up? Now hold onto them. Because of Jesus, joy is possible even through the difficult, unsettling times. Let your joy shine through the storm clouds.
Instead of turning on one another, remember the goal is to make it out together! You are a team. Say things like, “Let’s pray,” “Let’s work together,” and “I’m in this with you.” This is your crisis/storm plan.
The end of the storm
You praise the Lord and you celebrate! This is like seeing a rainbow in the sky after the storm. Embrace one another with a holy, passionate kiss! Our God is our faithful deliverer. Some storms are long, some crises are painful, and some are just down right tumultuous, but as believers we cling to Hebrews 6:19 (NIV) which says, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure . . .”
Questions to ask one another:
Date Night Ideas for October
Challenge 1: Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
Let’s face it: Florida is not the ideal place to get that fall feeling. But, why not grab your favorite pumpkin-flavored beverages and head on over to a fall festival anyway! Corn mazes, hayrides, pumpkin patches . . . we guarantee you will leave in a fall frame of mind! Check out this local favorite.
Challenge 2: A Night of Drama
Looking for a little entertainment? How about getting dressed up and going out to see a show! And if you’re looking to enjoy this date at a less expensive rate, check your local high school’s calendar to see what productions they offer. It just may be a great option for you.
Challenge 3: Ooey Gooey S’mores
You don’t have to live in the mountains to indulge in this delicious snack. Whether you do this over a campfire, your kitchen stove, or a candle in your living room, s’mores are a fun AND sweet treat to enjoy together.
Did you take advantage of one of these ideas? We want to hear from you! Share your dates on social media by using the hashtag #SoFloDateNight and tagging @CCFLCouples. You can also e-mail MarriedCouples@CalvaryFTL.org about your date night story!
Do you want to hear about upcoming events and news from Calvary Couples? Make sure you opt in to receive text messages from us! We want to stay connected with you, so you don’t miss any opportunities for you and your spouse! To sign up, simply text “MARRIAGE” to 91868.