Is Your Character Attractive?

Zach Morris. Sigh. He was the man of my pre-teen dreams. What’s not to like? Killer smile, flowing blonde hair, and a stylish wardrobe. Was he a nice guy? Sure! I mean, someone that attractive can’t be a bad person. Would he respect and sacrifice for me? Who knows? But he sure was cute!
Okay, I exaggerated to prove my point. But it’s safe to say that the question “What’s your type?” is something we’ve all been asked and probably answered. So, what is the most important thing to look for when it comes to finding your spouse? Just how important is attraction, and how do we define it? What is our personal character attracting? Let’s dig a little deeper . . .
Physical Attraction Is More than Meets the Eye
During my junior year of high school, I had the biggest crush on Adam. So imagine my excitement when I noticed he was in my English Literature class the following semester. As I got to know him better (from a distance—because I couldn’t work up the nerve to talk to him), I realized he didn’t care about school or learning. He just wanted to look cool and be popular. Little by little, my attraction for Adam lessened—until it was nonexistent. And at that moment, I realized intellectuality and hard work are characteristics that are very important to me.
Attraction is defined as a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, or entices. We see instances of attraction throughout the Bible, most notably Jacob and Rachel. There was something about Rachel’s beauty and demeanor that drew Jacob to her. I mean, he worked hard for this woman, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just because she had beautiful eyes.
But when it comes to relationships, we must define attraction as something beyond what meets the eye. A person’s character, integrity, and values are factors that can shape a relationship between two people for good or bad. So take stock of those qualities as you grow more intimate with someone of the opposite sex, because a relationship built only on physical attraction will fade away, much like the fleeting beauty that it’s based on.
So, Be Honest . . . Would You Date Yourself?
Maybe you’ve had a couple of not-so-great relationships or perhaps you haven’t been in a committed relationship before. Either way, when was the last time you evaluated yourself? The benefit of self-assessment is that it leads to a clearer understanding of your values and beliefs. While there is no predetermined age for marriage, we do have a responsibility to prepare for the possibility of being married. So, reflect on the qualities you’re attracted to in others. Do you possess those characteristics? Will the traits you desire in others complement yours—or clash with them? These questions need to be answered before considering marriage so you can better understand who you are, what’s on your “deal-breaker” list, and what you bring to a relationship—aside from your awesome looks, of course!
God created us with a purpose and part of that purpose is lived out in relationships, whether they are romantic or platonic. Isn’t it beautiful that God allows us to fulfill part of our life purpose through relationships?
I hope that unlike my pre-teen self, the qualities you’re attracted to aren’t based solely on physical appearance. I pray you have an understanding of what character traits you’re attracted to and what kind of character you’re attracting.
Take some time this week to reflect on God’s purpose for your life. Ask Him to give you self-awareness and wisdom that will deepen and strengthen your relationships today—and in the future.

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Brendy Garcia