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September 19, 2021 | Doug Sauder
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Most of us have either heard or read the phrase, “The family that prays together stays together.” The common use of this quote can be so familiar that we often forget the power it was designed to remind us of. Whether you are presently experiencing a circumstance of dire need or are in the cusp of the highest peak of your life, prayer plays a significant role in every season of our lives—from giving thanks to dealing with tragedy and everything in between.
Have you ever gone before the Lord in prayer and come out with a new perspective or a softened heart? Sometimes, we forsake our strongest weapon because of convenience or ease or we simply default to busyness. When was the last time you went before the Lord with your spouse and intimately prayed for vision, clarity, and direction or interceded on behalf of one another?
When we were first married my wife and I used to pray every night before bed. We would pray for our family, missionaries, and a list of other requests. This was a relatively quick and painless routine. We were simply in the infant stages of our prayer life as a married couple. We realized fairly early on that this type of prayer life would not sustain us or mature us. There was a need for more depth, which in time resulted in deeper roots, traditions, and even a greater understanding for one another.
I have noticed that in our difficult seasons Satan tries to sabotage our marriage by silencing our prayers—whether it’s unresolved conflict which breaks up the fellowship of our prayer time together or the reoccurring lie of hopelessness (Proverbs 13:12). These types of pitfalls in marriage are easy traps and the lulls or interruptions in our prayer life can lead to a lack of intimacy with God and our spouse.
Don’t believe the lie that Satan may have sold you that there is no hope for whatever your circumstance may be. Scripture reminds us that two are better than one; where two or more are gathered He is there in the midst of them. It is time to revive this spiritual discipline in our marriages. Don’t let anymore time pass if your prayer life has been interrupted.
My sweetest times now with my wife are when we walk and pray for hours—we have built up our prayer life as if it is almost a second language. Prayer is not just a practice, it is an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father. We commune with Him, seek earnestly, wait patiently, and walk in unity with God and our spouse. It provides a canopy over our relationship for continual intimacy together, direction, vision, and a source of renewal. It is where unspoken success lies.
When we walk, we like to hold hands and have found this discipline brings unity even when we don’t feel like it or want to. Not only does it synchronize our stride and pace, but it is also when our focus, vision, and clarity begins to emerge. When you and your spouse can pray for the Lord’s direction together, it is private because only the three of you know your deepest requests and burdens. It models a level of intimacy that symbolizes the Trinitarian relationship. When the Lord said that He and His Father are of one accord, likewise you and your spouse are of one mind. It is His will for you to walk in this manner (John 17).
So what goal can you set for your prayer life both individually and together with your spouse? How can you build a regular tradition of prayer within your marriage? If you already have an established prayer life in your marriage, how do you deepen it?
Encourage your spouse today by praying over them. Challenge another couple or your small group to pray consistently and fervently. And lastly, share your story of what God has done in your prayer life with another couple. In doing so, you might inspire greater intimacy in the culture of marriages around you!
Let’s live boldly loving our God, loving our spouse, and living it out loud in our community. We hope you join the journey with us!